Bulb Timer: First Issue

In Edit July 16th: Some very funny comments have been added. Click the link at the bottom of this post to read them.

Posted July 14, 2011....Time for a just-for-fun break. With all the things that are going on in the world of finance including the debt ceiling debate, this is will provide a lighter few moments:

FrankJ and I are editor and publisher of "The Bulb and Bag Timer." Birdbrain is our publicity man, in charge of promotion, advertising and reeling in the shark...err, I mean signing up new subscribers.

FrankJ has put together the very first issue which focuses on  when Bulb buying-opportunities are scheduled to end:

Bulb Timer

The first of a series of irregular submissions to keep you up to date on the upcoming ban on incandescent light bulbs and how it affects you.

First order of business:  this is about LIGHT BULBS, not tulip bulbs, or any other kind of bulbs you put in the ground.

Bulb Timer is a web-based enterprise, brought to you by Honeybee, Birdbrain and FrankJ.   Like all great organizations, we have a Vision Statement.  Our Vision Statement reads as follows: 

“Bifocals, vision corrected to 20/20,

plastic frames, no lens coating, no tint,

$145, after co-pay.”

Now we have been getting a lot of inquiries from Bulb Timer fans, on just how the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007 will affect their ability to buy light bulbs.  We want the first installment of Bulb Timer to start on an upbeat note, so let’s use the Frequently Asked Questions format to explain what types of bulbs the federal government will still allow you to have…

Q.  I have been unemployed for a while and recently started my own business, growing a certain type of  plant indoors.  Will I still be able to purchase the specialty lights that are a key part of my business?
 – Signed, Off The Grid.
  

A.  You will.  “Plant” lights are excluded from the legislation, so you won’t have to worry about the Bulb Police, just the Police Police.  Good luck to you.

Q.  I’m following portfolio 6 … which calls for selling personal possessions on e-bay.  I was cleaning out a closet and I found some Black Light Posters, which I am going to put in the den so the grandkids can see what a college dorm should look like.  Will I be able to buy the special black light bulbs to illuminate the posters?
--Signed – Old Hippie.

A.  You’re in luck, Bub,  black light bulbs will still be available, so rock on, and maybe you and “Off the Grid” should get together!   

Q.  I love government regulations, as long as they don’t affect me.  But will I still be able to buy Left-hand threaded bulbs? 
Signed – A Leftist.

A. You’re in luck, may you live in interesting times, Leftie.

Q.  I live near a swamp and the mosquitoes make life miserable so did they ban the bug bulbs?
Signed – Itching.

A.  It would have been most unfortunate if they were banned, but lucky for you, they were not.

Q.  Are there certain lamps or bulbs, I WON’T need to hoard?  

A.  Yes, this is a list of incandescent lamps that are excluded from the law:  (for now)

·         Appliance lamps,

·         black light lamps,

·         bug lamps,

·         colored lamps,

·         infrared lamps,

·         left-hand thread lamps, (who knew?)

·         marine lamps,

·         mine lamps,

·         plant lamps,

·         reflector lamps,

·         rough service lamps,

·         shatter resistant lamps,

·         sign service lamps,

·         silver bowl lamps,

·         showcase lamps,

·         3 way incandescent lamps,

·         traffic signal lamps,

·         vibration service lamps (like would go in a bathroom ceiling fan fixture).

Honey here:  For your own special free issues of this exciting new newsletter, please contact FrankJ or FrankJ.  I hear there are two of them also.....  :) 

On another subject: It was recently stated on this blog that our own Fluffy Bunny (AKA: TFB)  has personally met with Barack Obama. Some of you may have had your doubts, so I want you to know that I always tell the truth as this picture clearly shows.  I understand that the Fluffy Bunny wore his best glasses for this special occasion:

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